Food Therapy: A Guide to Eating Your Feelings

Let's face it, we all get down. But it's not our moods that define us, it's how we deal with them. Personally, I can think of no coping mechanism more effective than eating myself into serenity. Here's how I might get the job done over typical 24-hour period.

Note: I'm not really a sweets guy, so no pints of Haagen Dasz on this list.

Breakfast

If I've been depressed, or in a funk lately, chances are I'm hungover. Best way to deal with this and, more importantly, forget about whatever drove me to drink in the first place is to hit the gullet with the old one-two punch: Bacon & Butter.

If this sounds like you, my recommended vehicle of choice is a bacon, egg, cheese, caramelized onion sandwich with butter on a bagel. The onions soak of the butter and the bacon is...well...bacon. Add a dash of hot sauce for good measure and you're off to the races. This'll run you about four bucks at Zoi's on Orange.

Give me all the coffee you have, please.

Lunch

Whenever I'm in the pits, I'm usually eye-scratchingly bored by noon. So, I like to mix it up a bit by catching the bus down to Flavortown and hit up my local Indian buffet. For under ten bucks, I'll try everything they have at least twice, and spend the rest of the afternoon with my pants unbuttoned.

3-10 of these will hit the spot.

Dinner

No one wards off feelings of loneliness and insecurity like the Chinese food delivery guy. When I call to place my order I typically don't worry about the $10 delivery minimum because it's irrelevant.

My standard prescription for anxiety is any sort of General Tso's Chicken combo. Take that with an order of steamed dumplings to suppress potential side effects like depression or self-respect.

To be eaten alone, in your underwear, by the light of a glowing television tuned to a Wonder Years marathon.

Second Dinner

If I'm down, I usually just like to be alone. However, there does come a time when you must clean yourself off, put on some pants, and try to get out there and make your place in this world. It's right around this time that I'll call up some friends (misery loves company) and head down to the bar for as many wings as we can wash down with as many more pitchers of beer. Be careful who you invite along on this journey, it's not going to be pretty. You might want to just limit it to close friends who will either never lose respect for you, or who've lost respect for you long ago. I'm pretty sure me and 2 other guys once polished off over 80 wings at Archie Moore's.

This is a photo of an amuse-bouche of wings.

What's your binge when blue?