Ode to Hood Cocktails

Summer is waning fast, and in my opinion, early Fall presents the best opportunity to enjoyably drink outside without the sweat, the bugs, or the stickiness of an August BBQ. This is doubly so if you play in any sort of adult drinking/sports league, for example WAKA Kickball. It is in that spirit that I provide an overview of some of my favorite ready-in-a-flash hood beverages to spice up an afternoon on the field with friends. In order from simplest to most complex, we have:

1. Gatorbeer (Beertorade?)

This one is astoundingly simple, and does an effective job of introducing some hydration, crucial sugars, and electrolytes to your body in preparation of an epic day in battle, at the same time as gearing up your liver for an epic afternoon of sloppiness. Basically, mix a can of your favorite cheap beer with some of your favorite color Gatorade.

Coconut for display only. Headband optional, but recommended.

2. Brass Monkey

This one is a well-known classic, with it's very own classic Beastie Boys song to back it up. However, in talking to some folks, I've found that there is quite a variety of opinions about how exactly a Brass Monkey is made. They are all just that, though, opinions. The truth is this: 40oz Old English drank down to the top of the label (drank NOT poured out for the homies), orange juice (Sunny D if you're feeling extra hood) goes in until it's full again, give it a little shake, enjoy.

This infographic uses Tropicana because he think he fancy.

In conducting my extensive research for this post, I also learned that a Brass Monkey is also a stripper pole dancing maneuver. Combo the two at your own risk.

No one likes a show off.

3. Skippy

The first time I had skippy I fell in love with both the skippy and the person sharing the skippy. That's what skippy makes you do: love and share. It also makes you do other weird things, but this isn't a post about how to ignore your inner shame the morning after, it's about causing it the night before. A big shout out to my friend @Jeffc1784 for his skippy recipe, which he makes and shares on the reg. According to Jeff:

To make 2 gallons I use 750ml of Dubra vodka...

Dubra in its natural habitat.

...about 12 Bush Lights...

Hollywood reenactment of Busch Light.

 ...and a whole container of Country Time Lemonade...

Country Time's spokesperson is a little less attractive.

 ...Avoid using beers with a strong after taste. I used Heineken once and it tasted bad.

Food coloring for team spirit.

So, get out there and mix it up. Win the game. Slap hi-fives. Laugh it up. Get the girl. Or, you know, whatever.