Ode To: Office Tchotchkes

I've had a bunch of jobs, a bunch of desks, with a bunch of stuff on all of them. Most of it is work-related miscellany; files splayed, papers strewn, a calculator collecting dust, the odd ruler. But, if you dig a little deeper into the desk junk, you begin to see something more personal take shape. This image has been crafted carefully out of junk, mostly found, that I have collected over the years of jobs and desks and stuffs; it is like a museum of my work existence.

Currently where it all happens.

Everyone has your run-of-the-mill framed photo of a loved one, perhaps a college degree, or a service award pinned up right above that funny Dilbert comic you cut out six years ago. Here, I'm talking about the truly random; the things that someone walking into your office might spot and ask, "Why do you even have that?" I'm going to go out on a limb, here, and say that, while my collection might contain some more unique items, I'm not alone in possessing all this junk. Here's an overview of the exhibits:

Fire Safety Sign

This hung in a building I used to work in. The building dated back to the early 80s and, in case you couldn't tell by its zaniness in the face of imminent danger, so does the sign. The building has since been torn down. I built that nifty frame out of cut up cardboard, and the whole piece has followed me to three jobs now.

Oh safety, you so silly.

Star Wars Stuff

What guy's office is complete is out some reference to the Star Wars Universe? I have two. The first is the original Rancor action figure, purchased by my father following the release of Return of the Jedi in 1983 (before I was even born). If he'd kept it in the package, it'd probably be worth something today, but he didn't. He let his then-4 year old son open it up and play with it, followed by his second  son (me) once I was old enough to break objects. Then, it sat on display in our home office for 20 years, until I finally scooped it up and put it on my credenza so that I can snottily correct co-workers who come in and refer to it as "monster."  My second bit of Star Wars apparel is this Han Solo knick knack that a friend found and gave me. I don't even know what it is. It feels like a beer coozy, but is too small. It has an odd rubber thing on the back that may or may not be a suction cup that sticks to absolutely nothing. This thing sits on my window sill; Han pointing his blaster at me.

Of course, Han shot first.

Tiny Dog

I found this tiny dog on a stone wall one day when I was out for a walk. I liked it. I adopted it. For a while, I thought I'd start a photo project where I'd take it places and photograph it. That hasn't happened. I'm realizing now that I haven't given it a name, so, I shall name it: Dobbins.

Lil Dobbins: best dog I ever had.

Beer Can Pen Pail

An un-topped can that I stole from Union Craft Brewery in Baltimore, MD. Great beer, if you get a chance to hit up the brewery, I recommend spending several hours at the bar sucking these Duckpin Pale Ales down. I used it as a water cup for a while, until it started jagging my lip up on that metal edge. Now it holds two pens and a highlighter I've never used.

Various Photos of Strangers

I worked in a university library for a long, long time. Handling books every day, you tend to find some interesting stuff falling out from between the pages. I used to have much more of these photos, but I've shed some with each annual desk cleaning. I'm not sure why I've clung to these specific photos, they are each interesting to me in different ways.

1. College bro/nerd with football. You can see on the top that someone loved this lovable hunk enough to tape this up somewhere. Good for him.

college bro circa ???

2. 80s Wedding: I WILL NEVER THROW THIS AWAY THIS IS GOLD.

Sweet Madonna gloves.

3. Marathon Man: I couldn't get a decent close up of this photo. The look on the guy's face is hysterical. I've never been able to place the location, but it smacks of somewhere up on Prospect Hill. Judging by the cars and the guy's 'stache, it's late 70s/early 80s.

4. Sleepy Gal Pals. So many questions about these two. Who took this photo? Why did they keep this one? Was it a long night of partying, or a lengthy session of debating the merits of Foucault? Where are they now? Are they still friends? Dare I say, lovers?

There is a bit more, sure, but I don't want to keep you here all day poring over my junk. What kinds of crap do you have laying around your workspace?